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How do I start a difficult conversation?
How do I start a difficult conversation?
Ask for a time, name the topic, and bring one example and one request. Do not begin with history, a joke, or a test of whether they already know they are in trouble.
What may actually be happening
You are waiting for a mood in which the talk will not risk anything. That mood is the talk's enemy. The opening line is the hard part because it ends the pretending.
What you can do
'I want to talk about the deadline on Thursday. Ten minutes today?' Then: what happened, why it matters, what you are asking. Leave space for their version before you add a second example.
What not to do
Do not start with 'we need to talk' and a silence. Do not ambush them in front of others. Do not bring five grievances if you need one change.
Try this today
Write the opening line and the request on paper. If the request is not something they can do this week, it is still a speech. Narrow it, then send the invitation.